My small group met recently to discussed the “Ring of Fire.” One of the questions we asked ourselves was, “Why do you think some people don’t get involved in a Next Step Partnership?”

While several reasons were mentioned, there are two that stood out to me.

One reason is that some people are afraid they won’t like the other people in the group. What if someone talks all the time and is really annoying? What if someone is really arrogant, thinking they know the whole Bible and they’re always right and I feel stupid? What if someone talks about really personal stuff and I feel awkward? What if someone in the group is a Packers fan?

I’m not going to lie to you, these things do happen. In fact I’ve experience all these uncomfortable situations in the 15+ years I’ve been in small groups - even the Packers fan. There are no perfect people, and so there are no perfect groups.

Think about the closest relationships you have - your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your kids, your co-workers, or your really good friends. You’ve probably had uncomfortable moments with every one of them - awkward moments, misunderstandings, times when they’ve let you down or gotten on your nerves, and even arguments. But you’ve also probably had great times, memorable moments, and built strong bonds that far outweigh the bad.

(On a side note, it’s important to understand that when you try out a small group, prayer partnership, or serving team you are not signing up for life. You can try one for a few weeks and if it’s not a good fit, just bow out and try another one.)

A second reason some people are hesitant to be a part of a next step partnership is they are afraid of what people would think if they really got to know them. If I get into a small group, people might find out my marriage is struggling right now. People might find out I have this problem with anger or lust. People might see that I’m not a perfect Christian.

Again, I’m not going to lie to you - you’re right. Now, nobody is going to ask you to bear your soul the first time you go to a small group, but as those relationships develop, you get to know people, and they get to know you, they will probably see your shortcomings and failures. But you know what? We all have our failings. We all struggle with sin. We all have a past that includes moments we’re not very proud of. We all go through difficult times.

As Christians, we know we are all flawed and in need of God’s grace and forgiveness, so every small group leader and serving team leader strives to create a place where it is safe to be open, authentic, and free of condemnation. We support each other and bear one another’s burdens.

Every log when it burns gives off sooty, smelly smoke. You can try to keep yourself at a distance so you’re not bothered by anyone else’s smoke and they can’t smell yours, but then you’re too far away to gain any warmth. If want to burn white-hot spiritually, you’ve got to put yourself into a ring of fire (next step partnership). And if you’re in a ring of fire, you have to put up with a little smoke. But, hey, your smoke stinks too. And we love you anyway. Really, we do.

~ Paul Steinbrueck